Divine Timing Isn't Always Pretty

What do you think of when you hear the phrase “Divine Timing”? Do you imagine things working out perfectly, exactly the way you had hoped and envisioned? Are there puppies and rainbows and maybe even some angels singing?

Divine Timing can certainly be like that sometimes! But it can also come in forms that aren’t so pretty, and definitely not at all how you had imagined. It can also come in relation to things you didn’t really ask about. Let me explain.

Thanks to the support of my hubs, I had finally made the decision to pursue my business full time, and I left my corporate job in June of 2017. In August of that year, my former boss committed suicide. Our work environment was pretty toxic, and he had the undesirable job of being stuck in between us (his staff) and upper management who were relentless with their demands and unwavering in their lack of support. I was crushed when I heard the news, as he was someone that I loved working for, and someone for whom I had tremendous respect. We weren’t close enough for me to ever know the reasons behind his decision, but we were close enough that his decision devastated me. But, on a personal level, Divine Timing worked in my favor here, even in these ugliest of circumstances. Without this amazing boss as a buffer, that work environment became even more unbearable. So I had been guided to make my departure at just the right time for me to avoid an even more unpleasant and soul-sucking daily grind.

In December of 2017, I flew to Florida to spend Christmas with my family. When I walked into my parents’ house, I saw for myself just how sick my Mom had gotten. I knew she hadn’t been feeling well, but nothing had prepared me for what I saw. She was hospitalized that same night and my 5 day trip turned into a 2 week trip. But the Divine Timing of leaving the corporate world earlier that year meant that I didn’t have to call a boss and beg for an unknown amount of time off. Yes, I had business things to rearrange, but my clients are amazing and were wildly understanding.

The next 6 months were a roller coaster of emotions as Mom continued her battle with her illnesses, doctors, and additional hospitalizations. Again, having the flexibility of adjusting my day as needed to deal with those emotional highs and lows was possible because I didn’t have to deal with that corporate job. Then in June of 2018, I got THE call from my Dad. The call that makes the world stop spinning. The call that no one ever wants to get. 4 hours later, I was on a plane to Florida, as that was the soonest flight I could get on. But I didn’t have a boss to call to beg for time off. I didn’t have to worry about handing off projects and deadlines and all of that stuff that seemed to forever be on fire at my corporate job. I didn’t have to field questions like “Can you take your laptop with you?” or “Can you work from the hospital?” I put my business on hold, sent gratitude to my clients for being understanding, and was able to spend the next couple of days at my Mom’s side as she made her transition back to Spirit. I also got to spend the following week helping my Dad navigate all of the muggle nonsense that needed to be dealt with as a result of her passing. And I got to do it all without the corporate pressure of “Well?? When are you coming back to the office??”

Now, was all of this what I envisioned Divine Timing would bring me as I embarked on my journey as a small business owner? FUCK. NO. But being guided to leave the corporate life behind when I did allowed me to be there for my family, without a second thought as to whether or not my actions would put my job in jeopardy.

Now also add in a pandemic in 2020. A goddamn pandemic! Like, seriously, Universe?!? I had finally gotten my feet more firmly under me after a tumultuous grief journey in 2018 and into 2019, and was getting into a groove with my business with regular clients, frequent opportunities to teach Reiki, and numerous events where I got to meet and help so many wonderful people. All of that in-person stuff came to a screeching halt in March of 2020, which just seemed like some sort of cruel joke. After allowing myself to freak out about it for a hot minute, I decided to shift my focus to looking for what this time away from in-person offerings would offer me. Allowing myself to embrace possibilities brought me a lot of new ideas and new ways that I could continue to help people, even if I couldn’t do it in person. It also brought me a lot of time to focus on my own personal growth, which has been tremendous.

So, no; Divine Timing isn’t always pretty. But it IS always working in our favor, even if we have to look a little harder to recognize it.